


Undiplomatic

by guanoo



Series: Nines~ [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dark Crack, Gap Filler, Gen, this is fucking stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-05
Updated: 2016-04-05
Packaged: 2018-06-03 06:45:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6600904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guanoo/pseuds/guanoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[9.04]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undiplomatic

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why the fuck some things are in my drafts bin

Dean turned, but knew at once he wasn't looking at his brother. He was starting to recognize the stiffness in Sam's shoulders as evidence of angelic intrusion. The hairs on the back of Dean's neck bristled — he absolutely _hated_ angels. Except Cas. Sometimes.

"Dean," Zeke said stiffly. "Healing the girl drained me, more than was expected."

"What are you trying to say?" Dean asked cautiously.

"I'm saying I need Sam's help to... resume my work," the angel narrowed his eyes. "As far as psychic healing goes, his pleasure of choice is—"

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down! Did you just say 'pleasure of choice'?"

"That is correct. Carnal pleasure does have the effect of soothing one's psyche, due to the nature of... human brains. And for Sam the drive originates in something more  _complex_ than carnal pleasure."

"So you're saying Sam's gotta get laid to keep healing?"

Zeke-Sam tilted his head to one side quizzically. Dean was reminded of Cas with a pang. "Essentially," the angel replied.

"That's bullshit," Dean scowled. "Like I haven't heard _that_ one before."

Zeke said in a reprimanding tone, "If you wish for Sam to get better -"

"All right! All right," Dean said, and dropped his pants. When nothing happened, he turned to see Sam eyeing him warily.

"Dean... um, why are you taking your pants off in the middle of the hall?"

After hesitating for the split-second it took his brain to process that he was no longer speaking to Ezekiel, Dean said brightly, "We got the whole bunker to ourselves, Sammy! Don't you wanna play cowboys and strippers?"

Sam blinked. "That is a good idea," he mused.

 


End file.
